Who Are You When You’re Not an Athlete Anymore?
One of the hardest transitions for an athlete is one day being 100% all in on your sport and the next day realising it’s all over.
No more practice, no more games, and no more team. Some can take this transition and continue but others don’t know who they are without their sport.
Which one are you? Are you lost or fine? Do you not know what to do with your life/self or are you unfazed?
I want to help others with this transition, there is something else out there for you and you just have to find it!
THE GAME.
Never stop thinking about it.
Do I still think about the game and miss it? Hell yeah! I am still navigating all the changes in life and how I will never be known as “Haley, that soccer girl”. That was a part of my life for almost 20 years… that’s a long time. When I tell you it was my life, it literally was my life. Driving to practice 4 nights a week that was 1.5 hours because that was the best team I could be on and make myself the best I could. Missing school for week games or leaving early to get to practice. It was like a job that I loved.
You might me be reading this and think, ummm… what about your education? Well about that, if I didn’t have soccer I would not have an education. I hated school with a passion and soccer made me keep up my grades, go to class, and is the only reason I went to college and got my BBA. That might sound crazy but that was my personality and my parents had no way of changing that in my head. If they made me quit soccer I would have been real bad off. I am very lucky to have parents that made sure I was happy, supported me, and also made sure I got my education.
Lost.
Taking 100% to a new level with work.
Post college, I threw myself into work. I knew in the back of my head I was lost and I didn’t know how to navigate this change in my life. I treated work like it was all I had, giving it 100% of my time. This lead to a dark place that I pulled myself out of.
Some people might think that this is silly but it is true. It is hard to navigate a new life, when soccer isn’t the ONLY thing you think about and do multiple times a day.
Advice I can give to an athlete is make sure that you try to find something else that makes you happy. Yes you can play adult league sports after but I promise it is not the same at all.
Body image and
changes.
This is the hardest part.
One of the hardest transitions for former athletes is realizing your body is going to change.
I know how it feels to not fit into the clothes that used to fit. I know how frustrating it is when your “easy recovery run” pace now feels difficult. I know how hard it is to look at old pictures of yourself and wish you could get that version back. It fucking sucks knowing that shes is not coming back.
Reality hits quick. I’m not coached and training three times a day. No more 2 hour soccer practices. I don’t have coaches planning every workout for me anymore. My life is completely different now.
It is the hardest thing to have to come to reality with. Once you were one of the fittest people you knew and you looked it. Now you don’t look like that and it feels like life has slapped you across the face. Your body is changing to your environment. You’re in panic because you feel like you have let it all go, focusing on doing the best you can at your job and not realizing how you’re treating your body. Having to get a surgery that puts you out a year of activity. What can get worse?
I went from spending my days on the soccer field to working in healthcare at a desk job and working the floor. I went from barely sitting during the day to sitting for multiple hours. I went from feeling active and energized constantly to struggling mentally and going through a few of the hardest years of my life emotionally.
I know so many former athletes feel this exact same way. We have to find a balance again and find something that makes us happy again.
slow transition.
Finding what works and finding happiness.
I got back to something that makes me happy and that is personal training (and pet sitting and coaching lol). Do people say, “How is she a trainer? She doesn’t even look fit?” Yes, a lot of the time actually. Do I still look in the mirror after and talk shit about myself? Yeah, sometimes.
One thing I have gotten better at is ignoring the bullshit and focusing on what I can do for myself and do what makes me happy. Does not having a 6 pack or being as skinny as a rail make me a bad trainer? Absolutely not, I know how my clients have had great results and they let me know it. Does wearing a medium make me fat? Hell no. I know what I am capable of doing and if someone wants to join me for a workout, please do sweetie. Promise I won’t disappoint :).
(Okay my sassiness is turned off now.) The reality is, our bodies adapted to the lifestyle we lived during our athletic years. When your lifestyle changes, your body changes too. That does not mean you failed. It does not mean you are unhealthy. It definitely does not erase the athlete you once were. You just have to find new ways to make it work. We also have to find a way to deal with the negativity and focus on the positive things.
Just think what kind of life we could live if we focused on being happy instead of tearing other people down. Personal training is what helps me live that way. Creating a positive and healthy environment to support people.
What Matters.
You never lost being an athlete, you just have to change the way it looks to you.
You never lost being an athlete, you just have to change the way it looks to you. Find something else that makes you feel the way the sport did. Healthy is about so much more than trying to get your 18-year-old body back. Strength, mobility, energy, mental health, confidence, healthy blood work, and longevity matter too.
This is why taking care of YOU is most important.
Not punishing yourself.
Not obsessing over old photos.
Not comparing yourself to who you used to be.
Ignore the negative and focus on the positive. You should be happy and proud of yourself of what you have done as well as what you have become.
Your body is allowed to change, and you can still be strong, athletic, and healthy in this phase of life too.
Ask yourself, who are you? Who do you want to be? What makes you happy?
I am Haley, a personal trainer/pet sitter/soccer coach/wife/fur momma. I want to be someone that is confident, help others find their confidence, be the person that shuts the haters up, and provide, support, and love my family. Making other people and my family happy, making people laugh, showing my family how strong I am and can be, and proving to myself everyday that I did the damn thing and am still doing the damn thing!
This is why I started Ghost Fitness. I want people to feel supported through every stage of life and fitness. Whether you are a former athlete, beginner, parent, or someone trying to reconnect with themselves again, your health journey deserves patience, balance, and compassion. If you need help, I am here for you!
